Quick check-in: what’s your stress level right now? Somewhere between “I’m fine” (while your eye twitches) and “if one more person emails me, I’m moving to a desert island with room service”?

Stress isn’t just a nuisance—it can actually fuel pain. And pain, in turn, fuels stress. Welcome to the vicious cycle, the treadmill nobody signed up for, but everyone seems to know how to operate.

Not All Stress is Bad
Surprise: stress isn’t always the villain. There’s eustress (good stress) and distress (the kind that makes you want to crawl under the covers). Eustress is what pushes us to nail that presentation or learn guitar. 

Distress is the never-ending to-do list, the 37th Zoom call of the day, or being stuck in traffic with a full bladder.

Why the Brain Gets Stuck in Alarm Mode
Our primitive brain is basically a paranoid roommate. It’s designed to spot threats—“lion in the bushes!”—but it hasn’t gotten the memo that most modern threats are things like deadlines and PTA emails. As a result, it sometimes treats your overflowing inbox like a sabertooth tiger.

The Stress–Pain Feedback Loop
Here’s the rub:

• Stress fuels pain. Muscles tighten, inflammation spikes, the nervous system goes on high alert.
• Pain fuels stress. You feel frustrated, exhausted, and maybe wonder if the universe is trolling you.

And round and round it goes—like a bad Netflix series you can’t stop watching.

The Good News
You can interrupt this cycle. The nervous system has a “calm mode,” officially called the parasympathetic system. It’s not an on/off switch—it’s more like a dimmer switch. With practice, you can turn the intensity of stress down, notch by notch, until your body lands in a calmer, safer state.

Activating it isn’t about booking a week at a spa (though, hey, if you can, go for it). It can be as simple as belly breathing, a walk outside, a laugh with a friend, or watching dog videos on YouTube.

With practice, these small shifts add up. Stress eases, pain quiets down, and life starts to feel like your life again.

 Want to learn more? I explore this in depth inside my PainShift Programs.